It's finally the end of the semester, and it's time for a final flash essay. Instead of a new essay, our assignment was to revise one of the three we did with a critical introduction. We were allowed to go up to 1000 words.
I reflected upon the three submissions. It didn't take me long to make the selection I made. At the time, I thought "Neighborhood Creeks was a cool piece. Short of some minor revisions, I didn't feel there was more to say. "Halloween" was fun, but it was nearing Christmas so that holiday was in the rearview. "11/11" always bothered me because I didn't feel I captured how I felt about my growth as a Veteran. So, I broke it, and it came out better. "We Are Not Heroes" is my story, one that still evolves.
Critical Introduction
What a fascinating time to learn how to write better nonfiction! In the era of COVID and its metaphorical deconstruction of the traditional writing experience, I learned the concepts of Flash Essays in a confined environment with uncertain feedback. Nevertheless, my experience was surprisingly productive due to my determination to become a better writer and from the guidance and feedback from a select few who are as dedicated to the craft as myself.
When selecting the essay that I wanted to revise for my final piece, I chose the one I found most difficult to speak to. The first two essays I wrote post-experimental came to me pretty easily in part because they served more as a story I would casually tell. This piece, “We Are Not Heroes” was extremely difficult because I still to this day grasp to tell my story as a Veteran of the United States Military. Not one to take the easy route, I felt compelled to work this piece over and over. Here we are.
When I was selecting the craft elements to use for construction of this piece, I set a goal of trying to incorporate a minimum of five. In my attempt here today, the five I chose are Triptych, Scaffolding, Magic Three, Em Dash, and Epigraph. From there, since I have this natural tendency to either be free-spirited or rogue, depending on perception, I sought ways of trying to either combine elements or create a new way of looking at these elements.
I read a lot of essays this semester, with a few that stood out. A few of my favorites that inspired me to work this piece include “In the Company of Others”, “The Landscape That Made Me”, “Confession”, “Snowbound”, and “Necrologies: Mothers and Fathers.”
But nothing that I have ever written was worth a damn unless it had outside eyes to offer insight and guidance. I really learned a lot from the professor in this class who not only seemed to enjoy my nostalgic vibe, such as referencing “Land of the Lost”, but also gave me confidence in the notes that she provided when answering my questions or offering feedback in general. This was echoed and reinforced by a few of my classmates as well in their workshop feedback pieces. I am grateful for Estefany, Meghan, Lane, Koji, and Delia in particular.
When all these factors, elements, feedback, discussions, and people combined, it helped me identify a style I feel comfortable with using for nonfiction flash essays. I like to call it “Memoir Trinity” in that it is built off of the foundation of the Triptych structure. From there, I like to cover ground in expanding time. I feel this is likely driven by my age and experiences, so it allows me to tell the most amount of story in the least amount of space.
I am thankful to have chosen this class and while I missed the energy of the workshop when sitting around a table “cussin’ and discussin’” pieces, I know today I have grown as a writer. Now, I go forth ready to put myself out there.
872 Words
"We Are Not Heroes"
The First – Julian Date 1997315
To those in uniform serving today and to those who have served in the past, we honor you today and every day.
It’s November 11, 1997, and I am celebrating my first Veteran’s Day as a Veteran of the United States Air Force. I still have a little bit of a hard time believing I am no longer in the service, that I am working for Tom here at Meachum Field.
God, the civilian aviation industry sucks! What is so hard about uniformity in wiring a damn aircraft?
You’d never see a mess like this in the military – unorganized, undisciplined, uninformed.
I received calls from my parents, aunt, uncle, and brother today wishing me a Happy Veteran’s Day. I have to admit, this is pretty cool. Many restaurants are offering discounted food, so I think I’ll take my girlfriend out for steak tonight. There is a Texas Roadhouse around the corner that I have never been to, so why the Hell not.
Funny though, I don’t feel like a Veteran. I suppose this is how many of us feel the first time.
But hey, I’m going to celebrate it anyway after work and maybe get some free drinks with that juicy steak I can’t stop thinking about. I earned this shit, spending that year over in Korea and those several months in the Saudi desert.
Shit, man, I’m a motherfucking hero!
The Seventh – Julian Date 2004316
I am not a hero but I had the honor of walking beside a few.
Tonight was an unforgettable night. I still am a little in disbelief that UICI put on this event for us Veterans in the company. There was fine food, quality drinks, and the guest speaker tonight was terrific. They gifted us this remarkable book about Medal of Honor winners and included a crystal paperweight that reads “Veteran’s Day 2004 – UICI, The Insurance Center” with Old Glory in the middle. It’s actually quite beautiful. I think it deserves to be placed on my bookshelf next to the “Brown Bean” Korean case instead of a stack of papers on my desk at work.
I feel different, though, about being a Veteran. Up until tonight, I really looked forward to this day. I would metaphorically peacock about having served to anyone who would listen. I am a Veteran, hear me roar! After listening to the speaker tonight, I suddenly don’t feel so special. In fact, I kind of feel like a dick for how I acted – selfish, egotistical, cocky.
I am left wondering what I did in the service, especially compared to these brave souls in the book? I chased sparks, I did “swaptronics,” and other than the occasional three-day exercises at Osan in South Korea where I sat in a sandbag bunker, I worked in an enclosed, air conditioned shelter running a computer that tested either a navigation or targeting pod. I realize it drove me crazy because I didn’t really think the USAF was military enough. In fact, it often felt like a job where I happened to wear Woodland camouflage B.D.U.s. The names in this book though, they were military men. They are real heroes.
I realize that I am not a hero at all.
The Twenty-Third – Julian Date 2020316
We are not special.
Twenty-three years. Yesterday I wrote a flash essay on how I feel about Veteran’s Day and how it transformed me. Now I sit here as I often do when I write a piece; instead, I reflect on what I should have said.
It took me twenty-three years of growth to really understand how I feel about being a Veteran. I enlisted all those years ago because I had hit rock bottom and had nowhere else to go. When I got there, though, I really fell in love with the USAF, even though I wished it had been more challenging and more “military” like you expect from the Army or Navy (not the Marines though – they are nuts, but in the best way to be insane.) Then I became a Vet, and for several years, I thought it made me hot shit until it didn’t. Then I went completely in the other direction and dreaded the “thank you for your service” messages I would receive. But I grew from that too. When thanked now, I respond to the well-wishers with “it was an honor to serve.” It really was because I remembered I did this more for selfless reasons than I did for selfish ones.
Today, I utilize this uniqueness as an American Veteran to advocate for and help my brothers and sisters return to the fold. It was the most difficult transition many of us have, probably a thousand times more difficult transitioning into the military. I work to share our stories honestly. We aren’t perfect people, but we endured a lot in our own ways, some more than others.
I also attend Veteran’s Day celebrations at my kids’ school, so there is a little bit of attention I’m comfortable accepting now. I can say I have a healthy approach to this day after years of growth – reflection, understanding, and reconciliation.
We Veterans are just people, and this is how it should be.
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