I am proud of my time in the military. Serving in the United States Air Force saved me from a life I shudder to consider. I served well. Being a Veteran was a little bit of a different journey. I look back and realize how immature and entitled I felt. I outgrew that bullshit.
590 Words
"11/11"
I, Shawn Presley, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.
Twenty-three years. Tomorrow will be my twenty-third Veteran's Day, and I am not sure how I feel about it. My thoughts are a swirl, a hazy shade of winter, as I ponder back on my time in the service. Please understand me; I loved my time in the service, and unlike high school, I would absolutely do it again. But tomorrow is a day that I want to move along quickly for some reason. Tomorrow I'll hear the familiar questions – what branch were you in, where were stationed, did you fly a jet? And like always, I'll answer politely – The Air Force. Korea, Saudi Arabia, Idaho. No.
And they'll say the phrase – Thank you for your service.
For thirteen years, I ate that shit up. I loved being a Veteran on Veteran's Day. The recognition, the parades, the ceremonies (though I am proud to say that I never sought out freebies.) It was awesome!
Yes, yes, do thank me for my service.
It changed for me in 2011, about the time of the tenth anniversary of 9/11. I started getting immersed in the Veteran community to give back, and the more involved I got, the more I began to see our pain.
PTSD. VA claims repeatedly denied. Higher unemployment for Veterans than the national average. 22 a day.
And for the next nine years, the same phrase kept returning – Thank you for your service.
How was I supposed to answer this question now?
I could say, "you're welcome," but what am I really saying there? You're welcome for stepping up and doing what you wouldn't? That is the condescending response that I really don't want to communicate because I am not a better person for having served.
I could say "my pleasure," but is that how I really feel as I watch a country tear itself apart because they want their side to impose their will on the other? I get no pleasure in watching this. I offered myself as a sacrifice for all, if necessary, to pursue their unique dreams.
I could say, "that isn't necessary," but I might as well just face-palm the person out of my way. They mean no harm in offering their appreciation. They don't understand that it's now uncomfortable being in the spotlight, even for a single day.
I just smiled and say thank you.
It took me twenty-three years of growth to find the right response, and I finally have it figured out. That is the beauty of development; it allows your experiences to extend outward and intertwine with others, creating a better understanding of oneself. Just in time too! Tomorrow I'll get phone calls, text messages, social media comments, the full work-up saying the same thing – Thank you for your service.
Now, after all these years, I finally have the right answer for a lifetime. It allows me to show my appreciation for others' gratitude and recognize that it's ok to be in the spotlight for a little bit without feeling uncomfortable. After all, my service was born of love for my fellow Americans.
It was an honor to serve.
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